Author: qjoq.com

I knew it was time to stop pretending to be a fish, but I was hooked.

I joined a chocolate lovers forum the other day. I was asked if I liked a combination of chocolate, caramel, nougat and hazelnut. I said I used to but I no longer did. Then I was banned from the forum for going off topic.

People have some strange fetishes, but i’ve got to say, I’m a sucker for lollipop ladies.

I turned down the chance to appear in the new Jeremy Kyle comic strip. I didn’t want to get drawn into an argument.

I went to the dentist the other day and he told me that I had gaps in my teeth that could be treated by an experimental operation in Arnhem – Holland. I told him it was a bridge too far.

Why don’t cups gamble? It’s a mug’s game

My girlfriend told me she was taking vitamins. “B complex?” I asked. “What is life really all about ?” she replied, then started to cry.

The club sandwich, because sometimes a knuckle sandwich just isn’t enough.