I just bought my 6 month …
I just bought my 6 month old son one of those baby bouncers. 10 an hour but he keeps the kid safe
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One of my friends recentl …
One of my friends recently joined a study which focuses on the long term psychological effects of a hostile environment. Apparently, it’s really good and he plans on signing me up for marriage counselling too.
Continue ReadingI’ve just bet my brother …
I’ve just bet my brother a tenner that I can cross from one side of the river Thames to the other stood in a small boat using only a long stick to propel myself. It’s worth a punt.
Continue ReadingI’m an incompetent engine …
I’m an incompetent engineer with no friends. I just can’t seem to build bridges.
Continue ReadingI was watching the TV wit …
I was watching the TV with my nan when our numbers came up. She jumped up, and started screaming! She nearly gave herself a heart attack! That’s the last time I take her into Argos.
Continue ReadingTo all those people in Th …
To all those people in Third World countries that are ill through lack of water…. Hope you get well soon.
Continue ReadingAnybody else laugh on chi …
Anybody else laugh on children in need , When Cheryl Cole was pleading for money and was talking about how many people run away each year and they showed a disabled child with no feet ?
Continue ReadingI put my house on the Mar …
I put my house on the Market today. The stallholders were not very pleased.
Continue ReadingJust found out that my do …
Just found out that my dog could read after leaving him in the Veterinarian’s waiting room. The sign said, “Be back in 10 minutes. Sit! Stay!”
Continue ReadingWhat’s the name of a woma …
What’s the name of a woman who can keep a secret? Chantelle.
Continue ReadingAs I was stood in the bre …
As I was stood in the break room this morning my secratary walked up to me and asked ”Is that a banana in your pocket or are you pleased to see me?” I replied ”No, Its a banana, I’ve lost my lunch box”
Continue ReadingWhat do you call a German …
What do you call a German with a bald head? Herr loss.
Continue Reading“Computer says Nooo” Unle …
“Computer says Nooo” Unless you have windows Vista, in which case it says “Not responding”
Continue ReadingHad to think of a gravest …
Had to think of a gravestone inscription for my wife. I think she would have approved.. “Finally found a diet that seemed to be working”
Continue ReadingWhy do women have larger …
Why do women have larger hips than men? To balance the washing basket on.
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