I got in a taxi last night and as usual there was Asian music blaring out the radio with a Sikh themed air freshener hanging from the rear view mirror. I wouldn’t mind but the driver was a white man called Joseph.
Continue ReadingThe look on my nans face when i walked in on her and caught her knitting me a bowl of shreddies!
Continue ReadingMy mate Frank had his son named after him. After Him Wilson sounds so ridiculous.
Continue ReadingI’ve penned a few great novels in my time. For which the library fined me heavily.
Continue ReadingWalking off at half time, Man City’s Spanish winger was seen surrounded by team mates moaning & groaning. Seems that every crowd has a Silva whining.
Continue ReadingThey’re proposing a high-speed rail line from Worksop to Birmingham. Why would anybody want to get to Birmingham any quicker?
Continue ReadingApparently for just 187 per year I can help make sure that 11 year old Anita doesn’t have to walk 4 miles to get fresh water, cook, clean or look after her 5 younger brothers and I could give her a chance to be a child. 187? That’ll pay my water bill for a year. […]
Continue ReadingA hairdresser asked me out today. I’d never go out with a hairdresser though – they always talk about you behind your back.
Continue ReadingWent to London zoo the otherday. They were no apes there, weird.
Continue ReadingWe live in a society where pizza gets to your house quicker than the police.
Continue ReadingSickipedia v3 reminds me of a BBC televote. Most votes do not register.
Continue ReadingIsn’t it a bit ironic how they’re trying to get us to slob around in front of the TV to watch sport relief?
Continue ReadingThe apple industry has been hit by a rapid decline in sales of fruit-based pastries. Industry experts are worried about the apple turnover.
Continue ReadingA man has given 1.3 million to his friend after winning the lottery. That’s proper friendship, not like my supposed best mate, palming me off with a lousy kidney.
Continue ReadingMy wife said she found it ‘incredible’ that I had been cheating on her for 15 years with her own sister. I thanked her for the compliment.
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