During an argument, I hit …
During an argument, I hit my wife with a violin and she instantly backed down. Must have struck a chord.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
Who will take the second …
Who will take the second shot in this snooker game? Find out after the break.
Continue ReadingA company offered $50 for …
A company offered $50 for suggestions from staff that would save them money. They awarded it to the employee who advised that they only award $20.
Continue ReadingWhy did Santa say “Ho, ho …
Why did Santa say “Ho, ho, ho!”? He saw your mum, wife, and daughter in the same room.
Continue ReadingI was walking through the …
I was walking through the local shopping centre when a guy from N-Power stopped me and asked where i get my energy from? I don’t think “Lucozade” was the answer he was looking for!!
Continue ReadingI can’t picture myself wi …
I can’t picture myself without a camera phone.
Continue ReadingProtractors. Not recommen …
Protractors. Not recommended for amateur farmers.
Continue ReadingMy wife thought she knew …
My wife thought she knew an abuse joke that I hadn’t heard before…but I beat her to the punchline.
Continue ReadingThe hippos at my local zo …
The hippos at my local zoo do great impressions of my wife.
Continue ReadingI saw a dead fox lying at …
I saw a dead fox lying at the side of the road earlier. It was disgusting. Probably should’ve cooked it first…
Continue ReadingA black man, a ginger, an …
A black man, a ginger, and a suicide bomber walk into a library, and the librarian says “Is this some sort of sick joke?”
Continue Reading“Help me!” screamed the w …
“Help me!” screamed the woman in the burning building “I’m going to have to jump.” “What did you say?” I shouted back as she plunged to earth. “Help me!” she screamed again. “What?” I asked again. There wasn’t time for her to reply as she landed in a crumpled heap beside me. “Sorry” I said, […]
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend wanted some …
My girlfriend wanted some spiked shoes, because she felt they would make her run better for a charity sprint. So I laced her trainers with Rohypnol.
Continue ReadingDoes anyone know where I …
Does anyone know where I can spend my Sickipedia contribution points? I’ve just tried buying Haribo and KY Jelly in Tesco’s but they don’t accept them.
Continue ReadingDo incontinent optimists …
Do incontinent optimists see their bladders as half-full?
Continue Reading