After cooking my dinner l …
After cooking my dinner last night I noticed that the final instruction was to ‘Stand For 2 Minutes’ How stupid is that? By the time I eventually sat down I’d nearly eaten it all.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
Statistically, four in ev …
Statistically, four in every five dolls are Russian.
Continue ReadingI never knew having an im …
I never knew having an imaginary friend could be so problematic. I opened a bank account for him, donated some of my funds, now I’m being done for tax evasion.
Continue ReadingI recently started dating …
I recently started dating a convicted criminal… She’s my guilty pleasure.
Continue ReadingI just ordered a cup of c …
I just ordered a cup of coffee from a BP gas station. The attendant spilled it. Why am I not surprised?
Continue ReadingCheap knives. They just d …
Cheap knives. They just don’t cut it.
Continue ReadingHow many policemen does i …
How many policemen does it take to smash an egg? None. It fell down the stairs.
Continue ReadingThe other day I was brows …
The other day I was browsing the forums! Some one was excited about being able to Google their user name and it would bring up said name and Sickipedia jokes from them. “Well,” I thought, “I will give it a go.” So I Googled away and it took me straight to the obituaries – I […]
Continue ReadingI love being a fireman, Y …
I love being a fireman, Yesterday I used “The Jaws of Life” I took them home to prise my wife’s legs apart.
Continue ReadingThank God for Private Bro …
Thank God for Private Browsing. Now my wife doesnt have to find out my sick, disturbing secret; That I play Runescape.
Continue ReadingOnions are like puppies.. …
Onions are like puppies…..people cry when you cut them in half
Continue ReadingI found a hole in my trai …
I found a hole in my trainer that’s big enough to put my finger through. One formal complaint from her, and I’m now banned from the gym.
Continue ReadingWhat’s black and white an …
What’s black and white and read all over? I don’t know, but it’s not News of the World.
Continue ReadingMe and my girlfriend had …
Me and my girlfriend had a huge fight last night which ended up with her saying ‘You’re dead to me’. So I ran at her at top speed and knocked her to the floor. Well if I was dead to her, I would be a ghost and would have gone straight through.
Continue ReadingLegs: together we stand, …
Legs: together we stand, divided we fall.
Continue Reading