I couldn’t get a ticket f …
I couldn’t get a ticket for the 21st anniversary Hillsborough Memorial service. But my mate’s a policeman and he opened the side gates to let me in.
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A German man is driving d …
A German man is driving down the moterway and gets pulled over by the police. The policeman says “Could i take a look in zhe boot?” The man opens the boot and there is a huge piece of meat laying there.. “Vhat is zhis meat in your boot vor?” The man replies “Zhat is my […]
Continue ReadingI wanted to be a milkman, …
I wanted to be a milkman, I just didn’t have the bottle!!”
Continue ReadingBest Facebook status ever …
Best Facebook status ever… Step1: post -IT WORKED!! Step2: wait like 5minutes Step3: post-i am going to try out my new time machine
Continue ReadingSurely I wasn’t the only …
Surely I wasn’t the only Bloke watching Susan Boyle and Peter Kay’s alter ego Geraldine on Comic Relief, and thinking that Peter Kay was the Attractive one!!
Continue ReadingTwo men in a hospital are …
Two men in a hospital are talking for a good few hours, deep into the night… “…And that is the meaning of Irony my friend” Said Pete with a self accomplished look on his face. “what’s the meaning of Irony?” asked the alzheimer’s patient
Continue ReadingMe and the wife did one o …
Me and the wife did one of them hot air balloon trips where you fly over your own house… when she she leaned over the edge for a better look I pushed her out. I could tell she wasn’t happy. In fact, she hit the roof
Continue ReadingMy local job centre is ru …
My local job centre is rubbish. They asked me if I had any specific skills. “Yes, I worked as a joiner for 8 years and as a butcher for 10 years” I said. I start at Cow and Gate on Monday.
Continue ReadingEveryone comments that I …
Everyone comments that I wear odd socks every single day. But honestly try them, pitta breads are just so warm and comfy.
Continue ReadingFacebook: Ironically, the …
Facebook: Ironically, the more friends you have the less popular you are.
Continue ReadingNext time try posting a j …
Next time try posting a joke without using any words. Just a thought.
Continue ReadingIn an attempt to return l …
In an attempt to return lost luggage to travellers at Terminal 5, British Airways tested a scheme where pilots deliver the bags directly to the customer’s door. Following a delivery in Farnborough, the scheme has been cancelled.
Continue ReadingBBC News: ‘Brighton paedo …
BBC News: ‘Brighton paedophile jailed for nine years’ It was his own fault, he should have known that his actions would have noncequences.
Continue ReadingWhen muslim extremists di …
When muslim extremists discuss a former suicide bomber. Do they refer to him as a “blast from the past”
Continue ReadingThere, their, and they’re …
There, their, and they’re. Get it right, your in college!
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