A British aquarium claims …
A British aquarium claims to have the world’s first vegetarian shark. Either that or they’re playing a really good prank on Nigel the tank cleaner.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
BBC News – “Colombian pla …
BBC News – “Colombian plane crashes after lightning strike.” The pilot walked out when he didn’t get a pay rise.
Continue ReadingWhen I run out of toilet …
When I run out of toilet paper I’m quite the handyman.
Continue ReadingPut your money where your …
Put your money where your mouth is? I’ll stick to my wallet, mate.
Continue ReadingAs I opened the second bo …
As I opened the second bottle of brandy I started to think seriously about what I was doing to my liver. Then I realised I was frying it with onions.
Continue Reading“Waitrose to start stocki …
“Waitrose to start stocking Rhea eggs” Eggs from Rheas? They’ll never take off.
Continue ReadingAccording to my wife i ba …
According to my wife i base my whole life on cartoons. Fortunately my kids ed, edd, and eddy disagree.
Continue ReadingLooking at the nomination …
Looking at the nominations for sports personality of the year makes you realise just how much the British have dominated the world of sport in the last twelve months. But who will win, the jump jockey or the darts player?
Continue ReadingA noun and a verb were da …
A noun and a verb were dating but they split up because the noun was too possessive.
Continue ReadingI have a contact lens pro …
I have a contact lens problem. I have no contact lens solution.
Continue ReadingIn bed with the wife when …
In bed with the wife when she asked if I fancied a 69 and she looked shocked when I said no. “Last time you got rasberry sauce and hundreds and thousands everywere so forget it” I said.
Continue ReadingI’m off camping later. A …
I’m off camping later. Anyone know where I can get a pink feather boa?
Continue ReadingI think my girlfriend’s a …
I think my girlfriend’s a bit of a science geek. She stopped at her mate’s yesterday and has just texted me to say that they’d ‘spent the night experimenting’.
Continue ReadingLittle Johnny is at the z …
Little Johnny is at the zoo with his dad and seems to be having a great time, but when they get to the lion’s cage, his face turns pale and he looks terrified. “What’s up, Johnny?” “I was just wondering, Dad,” says Johnny. “If the lion escapes from its cage and eats you … what […]
Continue ReadingI have an overactive imag …
I have an overactive imagination. I ran four marathons in my head yesterday.
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