I used to know a depresse …
I used to know a depressed cross eyed girl… She never looked forward to anything.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
Decided to cut ties with …
Decided to cut ties with my children yesterday. Got kicked out of Debenhams after five minutes though.
Continue ReadingMy wife just had a call f …
My wife just had a call from a Charity asking her to donate some of her clothes to some of the starving people in the world. She asked “How will giving somebody clothes stop them being hungry?” Apparently they’re short of tents as well.
Continue ReadingWent to an Irish restaura …
Went to an Irish restaurant. It was closed for lunch.
Continue ReadingThe benefits of Red Nose …
The benefits of Red Nose Day are already showing, 20,000 Ghanaians were seen on a trip to Wembley.
Continue ReadingAs a blind West Country b …
As a blind West Country banker, I currency very well.
Continue ReadingIt was about this time la …
It was about this time last year that I resolved never to smoke marijuana again. I wouldn’t have been able to get through such a trying time if it wasn’t for my crystal meths. It’s been my rock.
Continue ReadingI couldn’t find the milk …
I couldn’t find the milk this morning, so I glued a picture of it to a child.
Continue ReadingMy friend says I may be a …
My friend says I may be a communist, I say he’s just Russian to conclusions.
Continue ReadingSomeone sent me a joke ab …
Someone sent me a joke about postmen. It wasn’t delivered well.
Continue ReadingWhere did Prince Charles …
Where did Prince Charles spend his first honeymoon? Indiana.
Continue ReadingI just got skylights put …
I just got skylights put in my place. The woman upstairs is furious.
Continue ReadingI’ve just had a text from …
I’ve just had a text from my girlfriend saying she’s woken up to a good eight inches this morning. Funny old weather, I only live two roads down and it’s hardly even snowing here.
Continue ReadingI’ve just been to court w …
I’ve just been to court where my friend was given Nine life sentences. I think that is really harsh, just for running over a cat.
Continue ReadingRiverdance……… The o …
Riverdance……… The only time it’s acceptable to cheer on a ginger
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