Cop to Pothead – Smoking …
Cop to Pothead – Smoking Weed only gives you a false sense of security ! Pothead – “Yeah, just like the Cop Badge”
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I’ve just seen a guy lyin …
I’ve just seen a guy lying on a bit of cardboard in a subway, playing a harmonica to earn some money. It’s nice to see not every one’s out of work because of the recession.
Continue ReadingAn exponential walks into …
An exponential walks into a bar. He pulls up a bar stool sits down and asks the bar man for a pint. Over in the corner theres a large group of functions, sines, cosines logs all sitting around having a laugh telling jokes and sharing stories. The bar man comes over and asks the exponential […]
Continue ReadingGive an underprivileged m …
Give an underprivileged man a fish and he’ll eat for a day. give the man a fishing rod he’ll get splinters in his mouth.
Continue Reading“It’s not size that matte …
“It’s not size that matters it’s what you do with it that counts” i said to my girlfriend as i stabbed her with my 3 inch knife.
Continue ReadingI get really frustrated t …
I get really frustrated trying to spell the word banana, I keep slipping up on it
Continue ReadingI’m thinking of opening a …
I’m thinking of opening a violin shop in Kidderminster, just so I can call it Kiddy Fiddler.
Continue ReadingConfession 274856263: I c …
Confession 274856263: I can’t count.
Continue Reading50% of British adults hav …
50% of British adults have never been for an eye test. They didn’t see the point.
Continue ReadingIf a 5 sided shape is a p …
If a 5 sided shape is a pentagon and a 6 sided shape is a hexagon Does that make Pacmam an omnomnomagon?
Continue ReadingMy internet connection wa …
My internet connection was running so slow today. To speed things up, I knocked at my neighbours house and asked if they could place their router a little bit closer to the window.
Continue ReadingI spent much of my childh …
I spent much of my childhood in an oven. It’s just how I was raised.
Continue ReadingI made a stiff drink when …
I made a stiff drink when I came in from work last night. Bad idea, it just dribbled out of her mouth.
Continue ReadingThe wife’s booking me an …
The wife’s booking me an appointment with a therapist, to calm my subversive nature. If she manages to find where I’ve hidden her phone, laptop, car keys, yellow pages and shoes of course.
Continue ReadingMy dog recently went miss …
My dog recently went missing so I got a pet detective. Although he doesn’t seem to like his cage very much.
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