I lost my job at the loca …
I lost my job at the local garage checking tyres I couldn’t take the pressure.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
Im just going to post a f …
Im just going to post a few Christmas letters this year. C R and S…..
Continue ReadingEver since I took over fr …
Ever since I took over from my dad as a stage ventriloquist, the act has really got popular. Dad says it’s due to the new dummy, but I like to think I had a hand in it.
Continue ReadingFrom a New Zealand news w …
From a New Zealand news website – “An American horse whisperer has posted a NZ$1000 reward for a conviction in the attack on a horse last weekend” Why doesn’t he save himself a thousand bucks and just ask the Horse who did it?
Continue ReadingSouth Korea – where sausa …
South Korea – where sausage dogs become dog sausages.
Continue ReadingThe wife’s got a new penf …
The wife’s got a new penfriend. Even pigs need someone to play with.
Continue ReadingThe other day, my baby wa …
The other day, my baby was crawling along the floor, stopped, thought for a bit, staggered uneasily to his feet, then shakily walked across the room looking pleased with himself. My missus was elated, showering him with praise and affection. Why is it, when I do the same thing after coming back from the pub […]
Continue ReadingTeacher: Where is your ho …
Teacher: Where is your homework? Me: Sorry Sir, my dog ate it. Teacher: But, you homework was to make an abstract object made of razorblades. Me: I know Sir. My dog is dead.
Continue ReadingMy wife just gave birth t …
My wife just gave birth to my son. I told her I’m not going to help her raise him. It’s the least I could do.
Continue ReadingI took the family on a da …
I took the family on a day trip to Alton Towers. As the kids kicked and screamed in the back of the car, I remembered a tip my dad gave me. “If you don’t stop that,” I said, “I’ll turn this car right round…” They paused for a moment, smiled, and started hitting each other. […]
Continue ReadingEarlier today I saw the f …
Earlier today I saw the facebook group “Kids vs Cancer”. It turns out writing “My money is on cancer everytime” is one way to get quite a bit of hate mail.
Continue ReadingI hate it when people mak …
I hate it when people make up random sayings to sound interesting and different, I mean whats the point? Might as well chuck a donkey on the bonfire!
Continue ReadingNews: 7/7 ‘hero’ tried to …
News: 7/7 ‘hero’ tried to save injured Full marks for trying
Continue ReadingThose Chinese swimmers ha …
Those Chinese swimmers have come on leaps and bounds since Morecambe Bay 2004!
Continue ReadingI’m constantly writing th …
I’m constantly writing the wrong things on the wrong sites. FML
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