“My dog took first prize …
“My dog took first prize at the bird show!” “How?!” “He ate the prize canary…”
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
The Afghans are thinking …
The Afghans are thinking of making a museum dedicated to Saddam Hussein.. Their calling it Saddam Tussauds.
Continue ReadingMr. Brown is at the docto …
Mr. Brown is at the doctor’s: “Doctor, I can’t sleep at night because I keep having to think about the crocodile under my bed.” “I’ll prescribe some medication,” says the doctor. “You should be feeling better within a week.” A week later, Mr. Brown is at the doctor’s again: “I can’t sleep, doctor. I’m still […]
Continue ReadingEver since the RaF starte …
Ever since the RaF started the “You don’t have to be a pilot to fly in the RAF” Campaign, They have seen an increase in Women applications
Continue ReadingTeacher: What does a cat …
Teacher: What does a cat say? Little Jonny: It says your 40, single, and desperate for any kind of contact miss
Continue ReadingI’ve been driving in my c …
I’ve been driving in my car. And I thought: This is Madness.
Continue ReadingI asked my girlfriend if …
I asked my girlfriend if she wanted a threesome with Pink. She said “God no, sounds awful!” “Oh don’t worry” I replied “She won’t be singing.”
Continue ReadingI went to the doctor the …
I went to the doctor the other day and said.. “Doctor, I’m Really depressed, i cant find a girlfriend.” He asked me what my ideal woman would be like and i replied.. “She’d probably be anorexic and afraid of heights.” He looked at me, sighed and said.. “Thats unfortunate, they’re thin on the ground”
Continue ReadingTo claim a football net. …
To claim a football net. That’s my goal.
Continue ReadingI’ve just written a joke …
I’ve just written a joke about a broken window. I’ve saved it in drafts.
Continue ReadingScotland Yard have caught …
Scotland Yard have caught an Irishman planting a bomb in London. They arrested him whilst he was watering it.
Continue ReadingSpeed has never killed an …
Speed has never killed anyone. Suddenly becoming stationary, thats what gets you.
Continue ReadingThe vet said to the Irish …
The vet said to the Irish dairy farmer “I’m sorry, it’s bad news. All your cows have Blue Tongue. The farmer replies “Bejaysus….I didn’t even know they had mobiles!”
Continue ReadingMy boss came up to me at …
My boss came up to me at work earlier, and said, “I’ve got some bad news for you I’m afraid. At the end of this week, you’ll be recieving your P45.” “That’s strange,” I thought as I walked away, “I always thought my skin was lovely and smooth.”
Continue ReadingI just saw the advert for …
I just saw the advert for Compare The Meerkat com saying that they are updating their server to cope with more people online. Sickipedia! Take Note!! Simples…….
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