I hear the Netherlands ma …
I hear the Netherlands make a great sauce to go with my Eggs Benedict, so this summer im going there for my Hollandaise
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Studies showed that Mac u …
Studies showed that Mac users are more environmentally friendly than Windows users. So why does the Mac have a rubbish bin and Windows has a recycling bin?
Continue ReadingA lot of people ask how m …
A lot of people ask how me and my wife have managed to maintain a happy marriage for twenty years without things starting to go stale. It’s simple really. Every Friday evening at 7:15 p.m, we do something spontaneous.
Continue ReadingI was voted most arrogant …
I was voted most arrogant kid at my school. Well I guess that’s just something else I’m top in.
Continue ReadingI just read a description …
I just read a description of a narcissist. I swear they were talking about me.
Continue ReadingI love the Buy One Get On …
I love the Buy One Get One Free offers that the supermarkets have on. I’m not greedy though, I just take the free one.
Continue ReadingI bought some fruit trees …
I bought some fruit trees at the weekend and the guy in the garden centre gave me a complimentary box of insects to help pollinate them. He said they were free bees.
Continue ReadingI went on a cycling holid …
I went on a cycling holiday recently, and it was exhausting. I need to get a smaller caravan.
Continue ReadingI didn’t know that Kid Ro …
I didn’t know that Kid Rock’s brother is a professional violinist. He isn’t very popular though, apparently there’s something unappealling about the name ‘Kid Fiddler’
Continue ReadingI was walking down the ro …
I was walking down the road when I saw a few lads lifting a large box. I could see they were struggling so I went over to help. “Come out” I boasted, “It’s all in the knees.” “Just go away!” they shouted. “I’m only helping” I said, spitting on my hands and lifting. The sheer […]
Continue ReadingThere’s one thing I can’t …
There’s one thing I can’t stand when I’m drunk. Up
Continue ReadingMy wife wanted to know if …
My wife wanted to know if it would be fine to give her baby a two-letter name. I told her to go for It.
Continue ReadingWomen are like guns, both …
Women are like guns, both work better suppressed
Continue ReadingI was going to give you a …
I was going to give you a nasty look, but I see you already have one.
Continue ReadingMy Henry the Eighth theat …
My Henry the Eighth theatre production has been slated in the press, due to the poor acting standards of many of his wives. Heads are going to roll…
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