It’s quite easy to teach …
It’s quite easy to teach a dolphin to use a mouse. You just point and click.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
Don’t bother wasting mone …
Don’t bother wasting money on subscribing to expensive adult web sites or calling 0898 phone numbers. Just phone your local department store and ask them to describe their latest selection of ladies’ lingerie, while masturbating furiously.
Continue ReadingI talked a man out of jum …
I talked a man out of jumping from a building once. I said “Mate, its not worth it!” He replied “Dont lecture me!” “I’m not,” I said, “I just don’t think this building’s high enough.”
Continue ReadingYou know that there is so …
You know that there is something really wrong with your life when the high point of your day is seeing that your joke has made it to the “hot jokes of the day” list.
Continue ReadingThought: Change is inevit …
Thought: Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
Continue ReadingI gave my son some valuab …
I gave my son some valuable advice today. I told him “Put your money where your mouth is.” Little spastic choked to death on a tenner.
Continue ReadingDaily Mail “Husband built …
Daily Mail “Husband built electric chair to kill wife who asked for divorce” I guess the spark had left their marriage
Continue ReadingMan lying in bed with his …
Man lying in bed with his wife says to her: “If I had plastic surgery to make myself bigger, would you do the same?” The wife replies “Yeah, i’d do that, it sounds like a good idea” Man says “Excellent! I’ll pay for your breast enhancement, and then i’ll get myself some bigger hands”
Continue ReadingMy old Grandad used to sa …
My old Grandad used to say, “Fight fire with fire.” It’s no wonder the fire brigade sacked him.
Continue ReadingMy ex-wife can’t stop bea …
My ex-wife can’t stop beating herself up about the fact I got to keep the voodoo doll of her in the divorce settlement.
Continue ReadingSome people take drug tak …
Some people take drug taking seriously. I just do it for the crack.
Continue ReadingHooters should do a home …
Hooters should do a home delivery service and call it Knockers.
Continue ReadingWhenever my young son cri …
Whenever my young son cries too much, I show him his birth video in reverse and tell him that’s what happens to kids who don’t stop crying.
Continue ReadingMy mate’s just formed a b …
My mate’s just formed a band called ‘Mechanical wave that is an oscillation of pressure transmitted through a solid, liquid, or gas, composed of frequencies within the range of hearing and of a level sufficiently strong to be heard, or the sensation stimulated in organs of hearing by such vibrations.’ He thinks the name’s too […]
Continue ReadingI personally think that a …
I personally think that all girls with any type of STD should be listed on the internet. That way, we know which ones to use condoms for.
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