I read a joke about windo …
I read a joke about window shopping the other day. I didnt get it.
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I’m not allowed to drop m …
I’m not allowed to drop my own kids at the school anymore. Last time the fall broke their legs.
Continue ReadingI went to a barbecue at M …
I went to a barbecue at Matthew Corbett’s house yesterday. We had a Sweep steak.
Continue ReadingI donated to a charity fo …
I donated to a charity for psychopathic criminals the other day. I didn’t want to, but apparently it was fundamental.
Continue ReadingI had to cancel a wheelch …
I had to cancel a wheelchair race today. There weren’t enough non-runners.
Continue ReadingFemale vicars. Are they b …
Female vicars. Are they birds of pray?
Continue ReadingI have invited a girl fro …
I have invited a girl from work round to my house tonight for a fireworks party. I’m hoping to explode in her face.
Continue ReadingWhat do Audley Harrison a …
What do Audley Harrison and JLS have in common? They both had a hit with one shot.
Continue ReadingI quit my job working for …
I quit my job working for Nike. Just couldn’t do it anymore.
Continue ReadingMy wife recently asked me …
My wife recently asked me to define “a month”. I’ve been thinking four weeks, but I’m still not sure.
Continue ReadingIf you think the ‘amazon …
If you think the ‘amazon kindle’ text to speech option is a joke.. Try downloading ‘A Brief History Of Time’……
Continue ReadingI just put up black out c …
I just put up black out curtains in our front room…. The Africans next door aren’t too happy
Continue ReadingI got served at a restaur …
I got served at a restaurant in France by this really weird looking waitress… She gave me the crepes.
Continue ReadingA man asks a librarian fo …
A man asks a librarian for a book on patience. The librarian says,”It’s not in yet.” So the man says,”I’ll wait.”
Continue ReadingMy nephew was reading The …
My nephew was reading The Beano the other day, when suddenly he asked me “What did people wear during the Great Fire of London?” I replied that, since this was shortly after the English Restoration, the majority of the city’s male residents would have worn breeches and ribbon, while their female counterparts would have opted […]
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