I was playing poker with …
I was playing poker with a few of my mates. I had a bad hand, so I folded my cards. My mate then went mad saying that he only bought the deck yesterday.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
My hatred for my wife is …
My hatred for my wife is like a horse’s foreskin… It goes back a long way.
Continue ReadingI love dogs, especially m …
I love dogs, especially my neighbour’s little Yorkshire Terrier. It’s really helpfull when washing the car, and fits right in the bucket!
Continue ReadingHow do i stop an addictio …
How do i stop an addiction to cold turkey?
Continue ReadingWhy did the chicken cross …
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because my wife cooked me dinner and I was 3 hours late back from the pub.
Continue ReadingI can’t believe they shut …
I can’t believe they shut down Wikipedia. How else am I going to make up diseases just to get out of work.
Continue ReadingAnyone else feeling to eg …
Anyone else feeling to egg the Popemobile? Headlines could read “Eggs Benedict”.
Continue ReadingDo Dementia sufferers eve …
Do Dementia sufferers ever get lost? Just wandering.
Continue Reading“Beaver Book Company” Don …
“Beaver Book Company” Don’t make the same mistake i did.
Continue Reading“Schoolboy, 15, hangs him …
“Schoolboy, 15, hangs himself after ‘being plagued by online bullies’ ” See, it’s not nice calling people forum rats.
Continue ReadingI got pulled over for spe …
I got pulled over for speeding in my smart car today. The copper was so impressed, he let me off without even giving me a ticket.
Continue ReadingI used to work at the Jen …
I used to work at the Jenga factory. It wasn’t a steady job.
Continue ReadingJust saw a picture of the …
Just saw a picture of the worlds largest egg, that’ll take some beating.
Continue ReadingI was in a restaurant thi …
I was in a restaurant this afternoon when to my surprise I spotted Ryanair boss Michael O’Leary, feeding his baby daughter. “Open wide, here comes the aeroplane! Nyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrr” he said, before shoving the spoon in her ear, claiming it was ‘Mouth East’, and demanding a 5 bib surcharge.
Continue ReadingI went into a cafe today …
I went into a cafe today and they were selling all day breakfasts. They looked great, but I couldn’t spare that much time.
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