My counsellor asked me to …
My counsellor asked me to describe my early morning drug habit. “Amusing”, I replied.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I took my son to work at …
I took my son to work at the adoption agency. I’ll never forget the look on his face as they slammed the van doors…
Continue ReadingMy wife accused me of not …
My wife accused me of not fully understanding the English language. In hindsight, I’m going to prove her wrong.
Continue ReadingYou know food’s posh when …
You know food’s posh when it’s got a nationality.
Continue ReadingMy wife claims that I tre …
My wife claims that I treat one of our kids unfairly. “Which one?” I replied, “James Junior, or the girl one?”
Continue ReadingIf people evolved from ap …
If people evolved from apes, why do women smell like fish ????
Continue ReadingLast night i asked my wif …
Last night i asked my wife if she knew any lyrics to a Fleetwood Mac song. “Of course i do” She replied “how about tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies?” “Okay” i replied “You are not a fat, ugly cow”.
Continue ReadingDoes anyone else smell so …
Does anyone else smell something fishy about the new McDonald’s advert? Skinny people eating in McDonald’s?
Continue ReadingI was looking everywhere …
I was looking everywhere for my FIFA 10 and eventually found it at the back of my TV cabinet. It was above and beyond the Call of Duty.
Continue ReadingAfter watching a DVD, my …
After watching a DVD, my daughter turned to me, mouth open, trembling, and tear’s streaming down her face and said, “No daddy, I wanted a seesaw”.
Continue ReadingEvery time I mix beer and …
Every time I mix beer and lemonade together I find I can’t walk properly. I think I must be shandycapped.
Continue ReadingMy 8 year old son got the …
My 8 year old son got the Sims for Christmas, he was showing me around his house where he showed me his wife sleeping in her bed, in the kitchen. I’m so proud of that boy.
Continue ReadingFacebook- Starting fights …
Facebook- Starting fights, and getting people laid since 2004
Continue ReadingI was told the other day …
I was told the other day that I had an IQ of only 75. I took a dim view of that.
Continue ReadingIf you ever buy one of th …
If you ever buy one of those knives off the shopping channel that can cut a tin can in half, don’t test it out on a spray paint can. Been cleaning the kitchen for 6 months. Well, the wife has.
Continue Reading