Author: qjoq.com

I’ve recently found out that YOLO is an acronym for ‘You Only Live Once’. I’m not really a fan of that, so I’ve started using make an acronym for ‘Seize The Day’ instead.

I was sat next to a fat black woman who looked pregnant in the doctors waiting room today. I said “What are you having?” She went ‘ape’

I asked my mate for a second opinion. He said, “Well I-” -“Whoa” I said, “Times up.”

I’m starring in a new theatrical drama called ‘Sword’. It’s a play on words.

I robbed a greengrocers earlier. But my efforts were fruitless.

At school I wanted to be in the cross country team, so asked the coach if I could join. “Have you got any stamina?” he asked. I said “Not really to be honest.” “Forget it then” he replied, “Without stamina, you’ve no chance in the long run.”