With all this talk about having a cull on foxes to prevent any more babies being mauled I’ve come up with a brilliant idea. Basically we invent a sport where posh people chase foxes on horseback, perhaps with horns to signal the direction of their movements and some kind of other animals with them to […]
Continue ReadingIt’s in the field of auto-eroticism that I come into my own.
Continue ReadingThose who can’t laugh at themselves, leave the job to others.
Continue Reading‘2 cool for school Stationary’… Ironically making your child uncool
Continue ReadingWhat do you call a pig with Aspergers? Socially porkward.
Continue ReadingThe police made a drug bust at my house yesterday. They were there for hours, lovingly carving it out of a giant MDMA crystal.
Continue ReadingI asked my doctor if he thinks I’m over my obsession with Tipperary. He said “there’s still a long way to go”
Continue ReadingGazebos. Gods way of reminding us that we’re not quite as advanced as we think
Continue ReadingWe really should stop calling it the Eurozone. Otherwise they’ll start calling us Poundland!
Continue ReadingThere was a group of Chavs hanging round my house, so I bombarded them with potatoes. Sauted.
Continue ReadingAll of my salad and sandwich dressing expires in 2012. Serves me right for buying Mayannaise.
Continue ReadingI went to get my body waxed yesterday, they did a really bad job. Oh well I should have gone to pecshavers.
Continue ReadingA drunk driver is dangerous, everyone knows that. But so is a drunk back seat driver, if he’s persuasive. “Dude make a left!” “Those are trees…” “Trust me.”
Continue ReadingI’m struggling to find members to join my conspiracy theory society. Well, you know what they say. Rome wasn’t built.
Continue ReadingWhat’s wrapped in aluminium foil and hangs around the cathedral? The lunchpack of Notre Dame
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