Why DO they call it a ‘Se …
Why DO they call it a ‘Selection Box’ when you eat them all in the end eventually?? Might as well call a bag of Maltesers a ‘Selection Bag’.
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Sky News : Dad Finds His …
Sky News : Dad Finds His Children Dead In A Freezer It would take a cold heart to make jest of this
Continue ReadingThe rulers of the Ottoman …
The rulers of the Ottoman Empire must have had plenty of places to put their feet up.
Continue ReadingAfter my mate was paralys …
After my mate was paralysed from the waist down he quickly turned to drink, drugs and gambling. Shame really, he used to be such a stand up guy.
Continue ReadingJust walked out of the sh …
Just walked out of the shop and tramp approached me and said, “Have you got a spare cigarette?” I said, “Hang on a minute, mate,” as I took a full pack from my pocket and opened them… I said, “No, mate, there’s only 20 in it.”
Continue Reading“100 million Facebook use …
“100 million Facebook users’ data published” I don’t see what the fuss is about; if you go on sickipedia you can read their facebook status’ first hand.
Continue ReadingTo all the A level studen …
To all the A level students who got their results but weren’t too happy, just remember 2 things 1) you tried your hardest, 2) I dont like gherkins on my big mac’s!
Continue ReadingThose footsteps on the ro …
Those footsteps on the roof can mean only one thing! My dad’s gone and joined fathers for justice…
Continue ReadingCan anybody think of a di …
Can anybody think of a different word for thesaurus? Hang on, let me just check my onomasticon.
Continue ReadingCan you tell me what some …
Can you tell me what someone from Corsica is called? Corsican.
Continue ReadingI have trouble telling th …
I have trouble telling the difference between Camera’s and Gun’s. Which led to tragic consequence’s at a recent wedding.
Continue ReadingAn eight-year-old boy wen …
An eight-year-old boy went into a shop and picked out a large box of washing powder. The shopkeeper asked him if he had a lot of washing to do. “Oh, no,” the boy said, “I’m going to wash my dog.” “But you shouldn’t use this to wash your dog,” said the shopkeeper. “It’s very powerful […]
Continue ReadingSo there I was chatting t …
So there I was chatting to a nice polite librarian about a book when she picked it up, turned around and bent suggestively over to place it away on the bottom shelf. I thought it really lowered the tome of the conversation.
Continue ReadingThe doctor signed me off …
The doctor signed me off work for a month with a ruptured pericardium. My heart bleeds.
Continue ReadingMen are like bank account …
Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don’t generate a lot of interest.
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