Why do women make sandwic …
Why do women make sandwiches? Because they’re bread for it.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I’m not saying Adele is f …
I’m not saying Adele is fat as such – just that I recently heard a rumor that Pop ‘N Fresh has a poster of her on his kitchen wall for inspiration
Continue ReadingCondoms are like parents. …
Condoms are like parents… they are there to protect you, but usually it’s more fun when they’re not around.
Continue ReadingI saw my ex pushing a bab …
I saw my ex pushing a baby down the street today. We stopped, she nodded at the pushchair and said, “It’s yours.” I said, “Oh my God… really?” She said, “Yeah, really.” So I picked up the baby, threw it on the floor and walked away with my new set of wheels.
Continue ReadingLast night I thought my f …
Last night I thought my feet were hanging out the end of the bed, So I got out to have a look.
Continue ReadingPanorama; advertising pir …
Panorama; advertising pirate bay and vuze… its like the police giving out free drugs
Continue ReadingI’ve just woke up to the …
I’ve just woke up to the news that my next door neighbour has strangled his wife, killed his two kids and hung himself. I’m shocked to the core and absolutely gutted. I was going to borrow his barbecue today.
Continue ReadingThose children in Africa …
Those children in Africa think they are poor? When I was a kid, I didn’t have enough money to buy a memory card for my Playstation 1.
Continue ReadingThis time last year I wei …
This time last year I weighed nine stones… I don’t know why I just wanted to weigh them.
Continue ReadingMy blood test results sai …
My blood test results said my blood had zero antigens. I thought that must be a typo.
Continue ReadingAfter taking 3 hits of me …
After taking 3 hits of meth, I ran around in circles for 10 minutes before finally throwing up on girl #3 who then burst into tears. I’m pretty sure I’m done with speed dating.
Continue ReadingTink my postmn is a thif …
Tink my postmn is a thif My leters keep gong misin
Continue ReadingThe wife found a lump, an …
The wife found a lump, and went to the doctor……………………..and the breast is history.
Continue ReadingLady Gaga’s lyrics are s …
Lady Gaga’s lyrics are so obscure. I think she has hidden a gender.
Continue ReadingI suffer from bi-polar di …
I suffer from bi-polar disorder. My house in Antarctica is even messier than the one on the North Pole.
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