BBC News : “Chickens die …
BBC News : “Chickens die as lorry overturns” Investigations into why the chickens were crossing the road have so far only drawn really bad punchlines.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I failed my chair exam. I …
I failed my chair exam. I have to resit.
Continue ReadingDo you ever get tempted t …
Do you ever get tempted to write ‘Ahh fat booth, I love that app’ every time a fat girl uploads a new profile pic?!
Continue ReadingLindsay Lohan has been se …
Lindsay Lohan has been sentenced to 90 days in a jail that is run by a Lesbian gang. A former inmate of LA’s Century Detention Facility said “She’ll have to watch her back.” Errr……… No…….. I don’t think its her back thats likely to get the most attention…..
Continue ReadingThe girlfriend told me sh …
The girlfriend told me she doesn’t want to speak to me or see me for a while because I didn’t say anything to the bus driver who was rude to her. It seems that we’re just not getting on anymore.
Continue ReadingI feel so sorry for those …
I feel so sorry for those Chinese babies who died after having milk contaminated with melamine. On the bright side they may be dead but at least they had a lovely finish.
Continue ReadingMaybe the man was swingin …
Maybe the man was swinging the cat around, To check if there was enough room.
Continue ReadingI was dragging my son aro …
I was dragging my son around Asda earlier. I started with a dress, then finished on the make-up.
Continue ReadingI bailed yet another mate …
I bailed yet another mate out today and I’m sick of it. They either let me bat or bowl instead of wicketkeeping, or I wont play cricket with them anymore.
Continue Reading“Why don’t you take that …
“Why don’t you take that apple to work?” asked my wife. “I didn’t even know it had a job” I replied.
Continue ReadingSky News: ‘Gaza Aid Ship …
Sky News: ‘Gaza Aid Ship Arrives At Israeli Port’ I thought he was on the wagon, nevermind abroad.
Continue ReadingHas anyone else noticed t …
Has anyone else noticed that the most evil and infamous men in history have sported moustaches? Adolf Hitler, Joseph Fritzl, Saddam Huessein… Super Mario…
Continue ReadingI played a little trick o …
I played a little trick on my wife today… I gave her a large dose laughing gas on the way in to her mother’s funeral.
Continue ReadingI met this Jew the other …
I met this Jew the other day, we got into a theological debate. It turned out he really didn’t like other Jews at all, his family were all really stingy and he’d been abused by a rabbi as a child. We were getting on so well I plucked up the courage to ask him about […]
Continue ReadingI’ve been out of work for …
I’ve been out of work for a while but have just got a job at a factory making periscopes. Things are looking up.
Continue Reading