qjoq.com – Page 186

I’m quite the expert on p …

I’m quite the expert on palmistry, I’ve written a handbook

I can’t believe that out …

I can’t believe that out of my 378 so-called ‘friends’ on facebook, only 12 said Happy Birthday to me today. Really, what do I pay these people for?

I got sacked today for be …

July 25qjoq.comLeave a Comment

I got sacked today for being ‘drunk at the workplace.’ I think I was misunderstood when I said I was “wasted doing this job.”

A man went to a psychiatrist. “Doctor, you must help me,” he pleaded. “Every time I date a girl, I end up in bed with her. And afterward, I dump her and then feel guilty and depressed for a week.” “I see,” nodded the psychiatrist. “And you, no doubt, want me to strengthen your will […]

Last night I said to my m …

July 25qjoq.comLeave a Comment

Last night I said to my mate,”My wife wants to be double penetrated but lets keep it between you and me.”

After much consideration, …

July 25qjoq.comLeave a Comment

After much consideration, a childless couple decide to try artificial insemination. The woman goes to the clinic for her first appointment and is told to take her knickers off and place her feet in the stirrups. When she is ready the doctor comes in and proceeds to remove his trousers too, saying, “Well, you wanted […]

I love my job. Colleagues …

July 25January 1qjoq.comLeave a Comment

I love my job. Colleagues have been writing names on the food in the office fridge – I am currently eating a yoghurt called Debbie. How cute!

I feel quite sorry for al …

July 25qjoq.comLeave a Comment

I feel quite sorry for all the British athletes who went to Africa to make films for Sport Relief. It must be really depressing for them to realise that even starving AIDS victims with no shoes are better at running than them.