What do you call Postman …
What do you call Postman Pat on the dole? Pat.
Continue ReadingWhat do you call Postman Pat on the dole? Pat.
Continue ReadingI’ve had to take a second job working in a bakery. I knead the dough.
Continue ReadingMy boss said to me, “I’m not happy, you have only been doing very minimal work for me. You should be showing me that you are willing to go the extra mile.” I said, “But I’m not.”
Continue ReadingI always wanted to be a negotiator, but I was talked out of it.
Continue ReadingI said to my doctor, “Doctor, as soon as I fall asleep I start snoring.” He asked, “Is it loud?” I replied, “Very.” He said, “Does it bother your wife?” I replied, “I’m not married.” “Then what’s the problem?” he asked. “I’ve lost jobs because of it.” I replied.
Continue ReadingAs a vet I used to think that the worst day of my working life would be when I put down a whole litter of healthy new born Afghans. But actually it was when I finished my tour of duty in Helmand Province and returned home.
Continue ReadingI said to my wife this morning, “You look like death” She said, “I haven’t done my make up yet!” I said, “That doesn’t really explain the hooded cloak and scythe”
Continue ReadingWord of advice when at a job interview “A hip flask and some snacks” is not a good answer to the question “what will you bring to this job?”
Continue ReadingClosing all the internet windows by the time your boss gets to your desk is like getting the keys into the door before the killer gets you.
Continue ReadingFirst the Postmen go on strike, now the Firemen. Who’s next? Best not be the Milkmen as I am NOT going back to drinking my grandma’s breast milk again.
Continue ReadingI intend to leave a mark on history before I die. One day I’ll grade one of those kids’ test papers, one day.
Continue ReadingI love it how people can’t get to work in the morning when it snows but they’re perfectly capable of getting home when it snows during work.
Continue ReadingThe boss called me into his office today and told me I’m due for a raise. He handed me a packet of yeast and I walked back into the bakery.
Continue ReadingI went for a job interview. The interviewer told me I would earn 1200 per month. Then after six months I would be on 1400 per month. I told him I’d start in six months time.
Continue ReadingI was sacked as a club rep in Ibiza because of my poor attendance and continous lying. I couldn’t help it if I was snowed in.
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