Some guy on the High Stre …
Some guy on the High Street asked me if I wanted to sponsor an endangered tiger yesterday. “Sounds interesting,” I said, “what will it be doing to earn my money? Running a marathon, bungee jumping?”
Continue ReadingSome guy on the High Street asked me if I wanted to sponsor an endangered tiger yesterday. “Sounds interesting,” I said, “what will it be doing to earn my money? Running a marathon, bungee jumping?”
Continue ReadingTook a week off of work for some reflection. Basically it’s me dressing like a girl and chatting myself up in the mirror.
Continue ReadingI’m not part of the clique at my local ‘stunt club’. They always leave me out of the loop.
Continue ReadingI spent most of my youth kissing frogs at the pond. Imagine my dismay when one turned into a princess and ruined the fun.
Continue ReadingThose wall mounted hand dryers are really impressive. I dried my hands with one at a nightclub on Friday. I think they’re almost dry.
Continue ReadingMy Grandfather was decorated for bravery in the war. It took him weeks to get the last bits of wallpaper off.
Continue ReadingI can’t understand my boss sometimes.The more I call in sick the more he seems to dislike me. I thought absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Continue ReadingMan goes into library & asks if they have any books on numbers. The librarian says, “One or two”
Continue ReadingIf the temperature is zero outside today and it’s going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be? 16F… or 546K
Continue ReadingWhat’s the fastest animal alive? An Ethiopian chicken.
Continue ReadingMy mate William is looking for a house share but hasn’t really had any luck. All the ones he’s seen so far say ‘No Bills’.
Continue ReadingOn Monday, Jimmy drove too fast and should have paid a fine. On Tuesday, Jimmy parked upon a double yellow line. On Wednesday, Jimmy drove through traffic lights while they were red, On Thursday, Jimmy signalled left but then turned right instead. On Friday, he drove up a street you only should drive down. On […]
Continue ReadingBBC NEWS: Police to give bikes to ex-offenders. Won’t this just make the cycle of crime worse?
Continue ReadingI’d just like to say that I think wife-beaters are disgusting. Why can’t you put a shirt or something over it, smarten up a bit?
Continue ReadingMy mate has finally convinced me to go to Ju-Jitsu with him. He twisted my arm.
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