I like work. It fascinate …
I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
Continue ReadingI like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
Continue ReadingMy wife just sent me a message on facebook saying I was two-faced. I was so annoyed, I give her a right earful, then logged into my other account and backed myself up.
Continue ReadingI hated it in prison, I used to get beaten everyday. Turns out I’m rubbish at Playstation games.
Continue ReadingI always feel awkward when I wear a blue and yellow T-shirt in Ikea.
Continue ReadingThe new girl at work slapped me today because I asked if she spits or swallows. It seemed like a reasonable question considering we work as wine tasters.
Continue ReadingI was really happy after a meeting at work today when I was elected chairman. Then I realised everyone had voted for me to put all the chairs away.
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend left me because I decided to become a Taxidermist. Stuff her.
Continue ReadingI finally got Angry Birds on my phone. I filmed my two sisters arguing over a Barbie doll.
Continue ReadingFor whom the bell tolls? For the person with the belt.
Continue ReadingI was sitting in the dentists.chair today. “Open up for me please” he said. So I told him I was abused as a child, my dad was an alcoholic……..
Continue ReadingDrink driving is likely to make you car less.
Continue ReadingDid you hear what happened to our headmaster at deaf school? Neither did I.
Continue ReadingJohnny’s dad and his Maths teacher are talking at the parent-teacher conference. Teacher: “I think Johnny needs to get some help at home. Especially with his Maths”. Parent: “Well that makes six of us”.
Continue ReadingGermany is marking the 20th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall. Well its just a dissident memory now..
Continue ReadingThis young girl goes to the doctor’s. The doctor put a stethoscope on her chest and says, “Nice big breaths.” And the girl says, “Yeth, and I’m only twelve.”
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