Apple have released a new …
Apple have released a new gadget which enables America to start a war, to cover up stealing oil… It’s called the iRaq.
Continue ReadingApple have released a new gadget which enables America to start a war, to cover up stealing oil… It’s called the iRaq.
Continue ReadingI was invited to play golf by some mates yesterday. Having never played before, they said I would need to buy a club. It’ll be the last time I play though. The shots were very awkward to play, and by the 5th, it kept sliding out my hand as the chocolate melted.
Continue ReadingI’ve been seeing a girl from Hiroshima for the last three months. You can say that it’s a kind of radioactive dating.
Continue ReadingI don’t drink. Maybe that’s why I’m so thirsty all the time.
Continue ReadingI have sickipedia and facebook next to each other on my favourites and sometimes get them a bit mixed up. Now i have no friends and a warrant out for my arrest.
Continue ReadingA horse walks into a bar and asks, “Why the long face?” “What?” asks the confused barman.
Continue ReadingLast week I hosted a charity 50’s Rock Theme night for sufferers of Parkinson’s disease. There was a whole lotta shakin goin on
Continue ReadingJust finished reading the yellow pages. It was ok but had way too many characters.
Continue ReadingWhat is it with this new face book? Its suggesting I actually talk to people instead of just browse through their photos and have a lurk, that’s a sure fire way to get me deleted, good one facebook.
Continue ReadingAs a large animal vet I was asked to make a prosthetic hand device for a grizzly bear. Have I made a faux paw?
Continue ReadingAnimal catapults. Because nothing says ‘GET OFF MY LAND!’ like a 70mph cow.
Continue ReadingI was having a packet of kettle crisps with my Stella when the wife says “Why are those crisp bags so big”? I said “they’re made in Norwich you need a bigger bag to get a 6 fingered hand in”
Continue ReadingThe future: like the past, except you die in it.
Continue ReadingI invited some mates over for a hog roast the other day. Just as the barbeque was about to be lit, my mate nudged me and said “Dave, I thought you said there was a vegetarian option.” I replied, “What do you think the apple in his mouth is for?”
Continue ReadingI came out of Woolworths the other day and saw a scruffy bloke.He was playing the guitar and singing, “When I was young, seemed like life was so wonderful, a miracle, it was beautiful, magical.” I said, “That’s Supertramp”, he said, “Ah thanks very much”.
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