Joke Portal

Joke Name

• Picture Says a Thousand Words
Here's a dilemma for you... With all your honor and dignity what would you do? This test only has one question, but it's a very important one. Please don't answer it without giving it some serious thought. By giving an honest answer you will be...

• An tragedy, and accident, and a great loss
George W. Bush is visiting a primary school and he visits one of the classes. They are in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asks the President if he would like to lead the discussion of the word...

• The Jewish Vote
I asked a Jew who he was going to vote for as president.

• Dubya, Obviously Not Jewish
One day George W. went out to dinner with a Jewish friend. The friend recommended a kosher place nearby.

• Future Handicapping
George W. was out jogging one morning along the parkway when he tripped, fell over the bridge railing and landed in the creek below.

• George Bush, Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld are f
George Bush, Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld are flying on Air Force One.

• Teacher Arrested
At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual, later discovered to be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a calculator.

• Birdbrain
In an attempt to thwart the spread of bird flu, President George W. Bush has bombed the Canary Islands. Turkey is next.

• Bush Declares War On Bird Flu
Saying that "America must take a preemptive approach to the War on Bird Flu," President Bush launched a nuclear attack on Turkey today. He said the Canary Islands are next...

• Drinking Politics
A man wearing a Democratic pin walks into a bar and sees a picture of President Bush hanging behind the bartender. He calls the bartender over and says, "You should take that picture down. George Bush is a blight upon this nation. He should be...

• Jeff Altman: Confused About Bush
I might vote for Bush. I'm confused. My dog is not confused; he sees a bush, he knows exactly what to do.

• Maz Jobrani: Not All Evil
Bush put [all of Iran] in the Axis of Evil. My friend was pissed. My friend was like, 'We are not all evil. I am not evil. I peed on a hamster once. That's not nice, but that's not evil.'

• Laura Kightlinger: Family Business
Electing W. proves that Americans are suckers for family businesses, no matter how dysfunctional or incompetent. 'Bush and Son: Leading America to War Since 1990.'

• Frank Caliendo: Loving President Bush
I love President Bush. I think it's great we have a president who always looks like he's looking directly into the sun.

• The Golfer's Confession
A man goes to the confessional. "Forgive me father, for I have sinned."

• Wanda Sykes: George W. Bush's Approval Rating
The man has a 70% approval rate, which makes sense to me because he's pretty much done everything I expected him to do: the economy's in the toilet, we're at war and everything's on fire.

• Wanda Sykes: Bush's Air Quality Control
Our air quality's all messed up now. Knew that was coming when they lowered the emissions standards. Knew that was gonna happen when he appointed Christine Whitman head of the EPA. Yeah -- the governor of New Jersey is head of the Environmental Protection Agency. Do you know how dirty New Jersey is?

• Mike Birbiglia: Bush's Stance on Troop Support
I take one issue with him, which is that he always says that if you don't support the war, you don't support the troops. I just think that's a little manipulative because I love the troops. Because if they weren't the troops, I would be the...

• Mike Birbiglia: George W. Bush and Your Dad
It's weird, the war that we're in right now. I feel bad for the president at this point in the war because it's kind of like when your dad decides he's going to build a deck, but he doesn't know how to build a deck. You're like, 'Well, we love...