A couple of naked lesbians barged into the house today, and started wrestling with my wife while she was in the bath.
I tried to help, but I could only knock one out.
Tea is for mugs.
A G N B:
That's bang out of order.
Somebody called me 'pretentious' the other day.
I nearly choked on my latte.
Ryan Giggs today admitted to suffering from homesickness, saying that, even though he's happy in Manchester, he does Miss Wales occasionally.
When my girlfriend said she was leaving because of my obsession with The Monkees, I thought she was joking.
And then I saw her face.
I'll stop at nothing to avoid using negative numbers.
I'm a big fan.
Don't you just hate it when people think there clever but use the wrong grammar?
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer do some excellent juggling. The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he stands up on a large wooden box and calls out, "Can you all see me now?"