A couple of naked lesbians barged into the house today, and started wrestling with my wife while she was in the bath.
I tried to help, but I could only knock one out.

Submitted by: nila

Tea is for mugs.

Submitted by: nila

A G N B:
That's bang out of order.

Submitted by: nila

Somebody called me 'pretentious' the other day.
I nearly choked on my latte.

Submitted by: nila

Ryan Giggs today admitted to suffering from homesickness, saying that, even though he's happy in Manchester, he does Miss Wales occasionally.

Submitted by: nila

When my girlfriend said she was leaving because of my obsession with The Monkees, I thought she was joking.
And then I saw her face.

Submitted by: nila

I'll stop at nothing to avoid using negative numbers.

Submitted by: nila

Wind turbines.
I'm a big fan.

Submitted by: nila

Don't you just hate it when people think there clever but use the wrong grammar?

Submitted by: nila

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer do some excellent juggling. The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he stands up on a large wooden box and calls out, "Can you all see me now?"
"Yes."
"Oui."
"S."
"Ja."

Submitted by: nila

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