I was having dinner with MC Hammer and Chico last night when I asked if anyone had the time.
It was absolute carnage.

Submitted by: nila

One night I managed to make love for an hour and five minutes.
It was when they put the clocks forward.

Submitted by: nila

I spent five minutes fixing a broken clock yesterday.
At least, I think it was five minutes.

Submitted by: nila

I asked my boss if I could leave half an hour early the other day.
He said, " Only if you make up the time."
I said, " OK. It's 35 past 50."

Submitted by: nila

Yes, now begins the 6 months of the year that my car clock reads the right time!

Submitted by: nila

My alarm clock and I had a fight. It wanted me to get up, I refused.
Things escalated.
Now I'm awake and my alarm clock is broken. Not sure who won the fight.

Submitted by: nila

The importance of time largely depends upon which side of the bathroom door you are on.

Submitted by: nila

I went back to the 1970's in a time machine yesterday.
I say a time machine, I mean the 18:15 from Paddington to Cardiff.

Submitted by: nila

I love working on Sunday when the clocks go forward.
It means an extra hour in bed and a cast iron excuse for being two hours late.

Submitted by: nila

When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.

Submitted by: nila

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