I was having dinner with MC Hammer and Chico last night when I asked if anyone had the time.
It was absolute carnage.
One night I managed to make love for an hour and five minutes.
It was when they put the clocks forward.
I spent five minutes fixing a broken clock yesterday.
At least, I think it was five minutes.
I asked my boss if I could leave half an hour early the other day.
He said, " Only if you make up the time."
I said, " OK. It's 35 past 50."
Yes, now begins the 6 months of the year that my car clock reads the right time!
My alarm clock and I had a fight. It wanted me to get up, I refused.
Now I'm awake and my alarm clock is broken. Not sure who won the fight.
The importance of time largely depends upon which side of the bathroom door you are on.
I went back to the 1970's in a time machine yesterday.
I say a time machine, I mean the 18:15 from Paddington to Cardiff.
I love working on Sunday when the clocks go forward.
It means an extra hour in bed and a cast iron excuse for being two hours late.
When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.