At the start of the exam, the invigilator says, "You have exactly 2 hours. I will not accept any papers after this time has elapsed."
Two hours later, the invigilator calls out, "Time's up, Ladies and Gentlemen."
One student is still scribbling away ten minutes later when the invigilator has all the collected papers in a large stack front of him. Slowly, the student finishes up and walks over to hand in his paper, but the invigilator refuses to accept it. The student puffs up his chest and says:
"Do you have any idea who I am?"
"No," says the invigilator.
"Great," says the student as he slips his paper into the middle of the stack.
"Gud luk 2 evry1 gettin ther resultz 2moro"
Thank you - I can tell you your English result already if you want.
Like many people, I had no idea what to do after I left school.
But after thinking about it for a while, I decided to go home.
BBC News: "Teachers all across Britain are holding a strike tomorrow regarding recent payment cuts."
Somebody should tell them that it's their own time they're wasting, not ours.
What's the difference between A level geography and GCSE geography?
For A level you need 6 colouring pencils instead of 4.
I was called in to school to see the teacher today.
"We're a bit concerned about Lucy, Mr Carter as she seems disturbed about something. She spends a lot of time in the girls toilets and refuses to get changed for PE."
"That is worrying." I agreed, scratching my chin. "When she leaves for school she's Michael."
Teacher: "Imagine you are in a world with dinosaurs and a dinosaur was going to eat you. What would you do?"
Boy:" Easy, stop imagining."
My PE teacher is very strict, if you forget your kit, he makes you do the lesson with no bottoms on!
Well, at least the rules apply to him as well, he always forgets to bring his rugby shorts.
I've just failed my course on 'overcoming self doubt'.
I knew I would.
At school, many people ask me why I'm so quiet all the time.
Well, you can't really plan a killing spree out loud.