Does anyone else want to meet a police officer with the last name World?
I walked into a shop and said, "Ten Lambert please, mate."
The cashier said, "It's not mate. My name is on my badge."
So I replied, "Okay. Ten Lambert please, ASDA."
My mate insists on being called 'N' by everyone.
He'll do anything to be the centre of attention.
I have two nieces, Melanie and Briony.
Can never remember their real names but one smells of melons, the other looks like Brian Blessed.
I used to have a nickname at school.
When my son was born, I wanted to pick an unusual name, and also name him after someone famous.
He's definitely the only Spongebob, in his school.
My friends called today.
Bit of a weird name if you ask me.
My nickname means I have a great chat-up line when I'm in America.
"Hi, I'm Waldo. I believe you've been trying to find me."
I turned round to my wife earlier and told her I'd prefer it if she stopped calling me, "Jelly baby" in public.
She nearly bit my head off.
I have just changed my name by deed poll to Heart Disease.
Just so I can be known as the UK's biggest killer.