I won a tidy sum on the lottery and gave my homeless brother a new home.
It was the box from my new 65" TV.

Submitted by: nila

I won the Lottery last night.
I haven't told the wife yet, I can't use my phone on the plane.

Submitted by: nila

Can you believe it?
This guy wins 181m lottery on Wednesday, and then finds the love of his life just two days later. Talk about luck!

Submitted by: nila

What's better than winning the lottery?
Winning it the day after your divorce comes through.

Submitted by: nila

Imagine winning 161 million in the lottery, you could buy anything you ever wanted.
Except a neck.

Submitted by: nila

My mate said, "If I won 161 million on the lottery, I'd buy Greece for a laugh."
I said, "What would you spend the other 160 million on?"

Submitted by: nila

My mate asked me, "What's the first thing you would do if you won the lottery?"
I replied, "Collect the winnings."

Submitted by: nila

My son asked me if I would buy him a new bike.
I said: "Son, if you really want something in life you have to work for it."
Then I told him to be quiet because they were just about to announce the lottery numbers

Submitted by: nila

They say there's more chance of dying on the way to place the lottery than actually winning.
That's why I always send my wife.
Win-Win.

Submitted by: nila

For the first time in ten years I didn't manage to make it to the newsagent to put my lottery numbers on yesterday, and would you believe it... saved myself a quid.

Submitted by: nila

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