The girl at the RyanAir check-in desk said, "Window or aisle?"
I replied, "Window or you'll what?"

Submitted by: nila

I wanted to sue the airline because they damaged my luggage.
I showed the badly damaged remains to my lawyer.
He said, "You don't have much of a case."

Submitted by: nila

I was arguing with the wife about holidays the other day.
I want to go to Morocco, she wants to come with me.

Submitted by: nila

My wife's going on a vacation to 'get a break from my constant jealousy'.
I wish I was going on a vacation..

Submitted by: nila

No one ever mentions the 1000 miles of trouble free luxury cruising before the iceberg.....

Submitted by: nila

After a terrible six year battle with cancer, my wife lay on her deathbed. Unfortunately I could not make out her last words.
You don't get a very good signal in the Caribbean and the jet ski was a little loud.

Submitted by: nila

I once went on an 18-30 holiday, which was fun, but 12yrs is just too long.

Submitted by: nila

My wife and I just had a blazing argument over the phone.
She's accusing me of being a money waster and now she's genuinely worried that the kids will miss out this Christmas.
It's put a real dampener on my trip to Las Vegas.

Submitted by: nila

A young guy turns up at a hotel reception:
"I'd like a single room, please."
"Certainly, sir," says the receptionist. "With bath or shower?"
The guy is a bit short of cash, so he asks, "What's the difference?"
"You have to stand in the shower," says the receptionist.

Submitted by: nila

Lying on the beach this girl asked me to spray her back.
Bit of a misunderstanding and now I'm in police custody

Submitted by: nila

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