What's soft and slippery?
I bought a new necklace earlier that made my skin go a funny blue colour so I suspected it was a rip off.
Turns out it was a 24ct gold bracelet.
When David Beckham scored for England, all the kids wanted Beckham haircuts.
Sorry, Lescott, but I can't see this catching on.
Newcastle United's new away strip looks just like a deck chair. Ironically, there will be thousands of them at Blackpool next season.
Standing in line behind an American woman at McDonald's. She's wearing those jeans, you know the ones with the patch on the back pocket that says " Guess".
I'm thinking 450, maybe 500 pounds.
I asked the missus this morning what size she is, as I was buying her Christmas presents
She told me she was a size 10.
The trouble I had getting shoes in her size!
Brantano customers. Throw your purchases away and wear the boxes instead. They'll be harder-wearing, more stylish and better fitting.
I've booked an appointment with my tailor to shorten the length of my trousers.
I hope he turns up.
French connection UK.
Offending dyslexics since 2001
Cesc Fabregas has secured a new sponsorship deal since his move to Barcelona
A 5 year deal with bench.