Definition of pressure:
A wife, a mistress and a mortgage.
All one month late

Submitted by: nila

Whats the definition of a tree?
Something that stands still for forty years then suddenly jumps out in front of a woman driver.

Submitted by: nila

Are tops of Mountains called 'The Summit' because no-one could think of a name for them ?

Submitted by: nila

I suffer from aibohphobia-the fear of palindromes.

Submitted by: nila

Potent:
A shelter for the smallest teletubby.

Submitted by: nila

Avoidable: what a bullfighter tries to do.

Submitted by: nila

Limousine - a collective noun for a group of slags.

Submitted by: nila

Understanding Marketing
You see a fabulous girl at a party. You approach them and say, "I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Direct Marketing.
You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a fabulous girl. You have one of your friends approach them, point at you and say, "He's fantastic in bed."
That's Advertising.
You see a fabulous girl at a party. You approach them to get their telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Telemarketing.
You're at a party and see a fabulous girl. You get up, straighten your clothes, walk up and pour them a drink. You open the door, pick up their bag after it drops, offer them a ride, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Public Relations.
You're at a party and see a fabulous girl. They walk up to you and say, "I hear you're fantastic in bed."
That's Brand Recognition.

Submitted by: nila

If I had a billion pounds for every time I underestimated...
I would be a millionaire.

Submitted by: nila

Arachnoleptic fit - The frantic dance you perform just after you have walked through a spider's web.

Submitted by: nila

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