I've thought long and hard, and have decided on my New Year's resolution.
I can't see an end.
I have no control and I don't think there's any escape - I don't even have a home anymore.
Definitely time for a new keyboard.
I've just renamed my WiFi network to "Police Surveillance Van #02".
That should keep my pikey neighbours on their toes for a while.
I currently own a system which is exactly 14 times better than Windows 7.
I call it: Windows 98.
I've just upgraded to Sky HD.
The phrase 'No satellite signal is being received' has never been so colourful and clear.
Microsoft's new Windows advert talks about life without walls...
Surely life without walls is a Window's worst nightmare.
No, Microsoft Word, my name is not spelt incorrectly.
Want to know how to Get a Flat Stomach & Perfect Abs in 2 to 3 Weeks?
Hmmmm let me see......
"And so, God came forth and proclaimed widescreen is the best"
I can't believe all the singles in my area want to meet me,
probably because of all the iPads I've won.