The wife was having a go at me. "Life's just one big joke to you, isn't it."
"I don't know what you mean. Sit down, luv, and let's talk about it."
That's when I pulled her chair away.

Submitted by: nila

I was having a row with my girlfriend last night and she accused me of being childish.
What does she know? She's just a stinky poo face.

Submitted by: nila

The iPhone is useless to an immature person like myself.
I type "5318008" into the calculator and turn it upside down, but the screen rights itself.

Submitted by: nila

My wife told me I was immature and needed to grow up...
So guess who is not allowed in my tree-house now!

Submitted by: nila

Got arrested at Heathrow last week.
Apparently, security doesn't appreciate it when you call "shotgun" before boarding a plane.

Submitted by: nila

My wife claims that I treat one of our kids unfairly.
"Which one?" I replied, "James Junior, or the girl one?"

Submitted by: nila

Today, my girlfriend and I were having a serious conversation about our relationship, during which I took the time to make a napkin monster and attack her with it.
I think it went really well.

Submitted by: nila

My Girlfriend: I cant do this anymore you're too childish. I think I need a break.
Me: Have a kit-kat?

Submitted by: nila

I was telling some sheep jokes the other day.
But none of them laughed and one just ran away going "baa."

Submitted by: nila

How many immature teenagers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Your mum.

Submitted by: nila

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