News Headline; ‘Stick’ fo …
News Headline; ‘Stick’ found on beach used as cricket bat actually leg bone.’ Secondary Headline; ‘Bystander caught making LBW joke at scene ironically beaten to death with cricket bat.’
Continue ReadingNews Headline; ‘Stick’ found on beach used as cricket bat actually leg bone.’ Secondary Headline; ‘Bystander caught making LBW joke at scene ironically beaten to death with cricket bat.’
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend is cross eyed and is trying to find a cure for it. She doesn’t know where to look.
Continue ReadingI shouldn’t have got Patrick Swayze to redesign the nursery. He’s put the cot right in the middle of the room.
Continue ReadingI told my friend earlier that I’d heard Marie Osmond is going to be in one of the worst films ever made. “Warner Brothers?” He said “I already have” I replied
Continue ReadingI recently went to a pub and asked the pretty lady at the bar for a nice bit of head. Worst pint I’ve ever had.
Continue ReadingMy wifes name is Lisa, she complains a lot and she really loves Leonardo da Vinci art. The nick name I gave her is obvious. Although she hates it when I call her Obvious.
Continue ReadingI told my wife that she had drawn her eyebrows too high, she looked quite surprised….!
Continue ReadingThe wife, annoyed, asked our son, “How often do you lose pieces for your Scalextric?” “Don’t know,” he replied, “I’ve lost track.”
Continue ReadingBBC NEWS: Tear gas used on Syria mourners. Somehow, I don’t think the tear gas was necessary.
Continue ReadingI was in the pub last night when my friend started doing card tricks to 5 pints of beer. I said to him, “Stop fooling a round.”
Continue ReadingSky News – “Thieves prepare to strike over Christmas” Great I can leave all my windows and doors unlocked without worry now
Continue ReadingI’m so looking forward to turkey this Christmas. I just hope Heathrow gets the runway open.
Continue Readingmy wife, my daughter, my son, my mother, my father, my mother-in-law and my father-in-law have all left me due to my obsession with Bingo I’m glad they did anyway, it was a full house.
Continue ReadingI’m getting fed up with reading Time Machine jokes. If I read another one, I’ll hang myself yesterday morning.
Continue ReadingI walked into the pub and got a round of applause. Never heard of it before but it tasted alright.
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