When out shopping one day …
When out shopping one day my wife exclaimed ‘Homebase really is my home away from home!’ They do some nice kitchens after all.
Continue ReadingWhen out shopping one day my wife exclaimed ‘Homebase really is my home away from home!’ They do some nice kitchens after all.
Continue ReadingI took a dodgy shredder back to the shop today and asked for a refund. “Have you got the receipt for it?” They asked. I said “Yes, Have you got any Sellotape?”
Continue ReadingJust got my Jewish mate some cologne for his birthday. HoLacoste.
Continue ReadingThey say ‘never forget your roots’ I guess its no surprise then, that Al Fayeds shop Harrods is on a corner.
Continue ReadingI had a job in a supermarket once, handing out samples for people to try. I got asked to leave though, after the “little cups of bleach” incident.
Continue ReadingA man walks into a pet shop. “I’ll have a bee, please,” asks the man, to which the owner of the shop replies, “Sorry, we don’t sell bees.” The man replies, “Well, you’ve got one in your window.”
Continue ReadingThe ministry of defence have just announced their new supplier of body armour for the frontline troops will be TK Maxx
Continue ReadingI wonder if the owner of DFS has thought about making a bit of extra cash by charging full price every once in a while?
Continue ReadingMy local Tesco has got a great offer on at the moment. It’s selling a variety of different trolleys for a pound each – you just put a coin in a slot near the handle and wheel them away.
Continue ReadingJust read a woman’s open letter to her car thief in the Metro, I hate to break it to you love, but if he’s got your car, he’s probably not reading a newspaper you get on the bus.
Continue ReadingI saw a bus the other day with an advert on the side for Asda saying: “There’s no place like Asda”. Now I’m not sure about you, but I think Morrisons, Tesco and Sainsbury’s are pretty similar to Asda.
Continue ReadingI just walked past a Tesco’s store with a sign in the window.. “No Food, No Drink, No Cigs, in this store” Worst. Tesco. Ever.
Continue ReadingI’m very disappointed with Marks and Spencer. I didn’t see any black women in underwear for sale in any of their departments.
Continue ReadingI used to work in an art supply store. We sold artists’ canvas by the yard, and you could get it in either of two widths: 36 inches or 48 inches. Customer: “Can you please cut some canvas for me?” Me: “Certainly, what width?” Customer: (confused and slightly annoyed) “Uh, Scissors?”
Continue ReadingThe easiest way to find something lost around the house, is to buy a replacement.
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