Phew, that’s a relief The …
Phew, that’s a relief The timer almost ran out on my chance to win a free laptop. It’s like they know that my current one keeps collecting viruses…
Continue ReadingPhew, that’s a relief The timer almost ran out on my chance to win a free laptop. It’s like they know that my current one keeps collecting viruses…
Continue ReadingI’ve decided to do a spot of painting today, then i’m gonna watch it dry well i need a bit of excitement after the match last night
Continue ReadingThe wife suggested we go for a night out somewhere because we haven’t been out for ages. She said “How about going to the dogs one night?”. I said “Good idea, but I don’t really want to spend an evening round your mothers.”
Continue ReadingThe person who cancels it will be my American Idol.
Continue ReadingI didn’t get the job with the Council Racial Equalities Department. Because ‘Being a white person’ makes me unable to relate to racial inequality issues.
Continue ReadingMy Girlfriend and I were watching television earlier when she said to me, “Don’t you think it’s unfair that when a man sleeps with many women he’s called a stud… but when a woman sleeps around with a lot of men she’s called a slag?” After five seconds or so of silence she said to […]
Continue ReadingSky News- “Crocodile Dundee Star Banned From Leaving Oz” Doesn’t he realise he just has to click his heels together and say ‘There’s no place like home’?
Continue ReadingLondon 2012: Because terrorists need provoking.
Continue ReadingDid you see that really good episode of the X-Factor last week? Me neither
Continue ReadingI might go and see the Muppets tonight. Anybody know what time their flight arrives from Milan?
Continue ReadingI bought some pyjamas off the internet, and when I got them I found they had pockets. Which is great, because now I no longer have to hold things when I’m asleep.
Continue ReadingThey’ve just brought out non-alcoholic Cider… Now correct me if I’m wrong, but that’s Apple Juice!
Continue ReadingI was wondering what that strange thing in the air was today, that blew my coffee over and made me lose my cigarette on my break at work. But thanks to my friends on Facebook with status updates, I have now found out it is windy outside.
Continue ReadingA judge has ruled that the SFA had ‘no right to impose a transfer embargo on Rangers FC.’ I suppose he’s right. After all, it was only 20 years of tax evasion.
Continue ReadingIn the news ‘five year old girl loses leg to menangitis, now a kickboxer’ Should read: ‘parents love media attention, more than their daughter’
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