I feel like the people wh …
I feel like the people who hand out leaflets are really saying, “Here, throw this away for me.”
Continue ReadingI feel like the people who hand out leaflets are really saying, “Here, throw this away for me.”
Continue Readinganyone else watchin the grizzly man to see if they show him gettin killed in the end?
Continue ReadingGuarantee waking up early by not eating the night before.
Continue ReadingI can’t wait for tonight. A bunch of my mates are coming over to play on their phones.
Continue ReadingWhen I was in my early 20’s all I wanted was thick hair and a thin wife. I’m in my 30’s now and have got it the other way around.
Continue ReadingI hate conspiracy theorists. I’m sure they’re all working together somehow to bring down society.
Continue Reading2010: You’re only cool if you have silly bandz. 2011: Planking is boss. 2012: HEY! Let’s all choke on cinnamon.
Continue ReadingI would like to take this opportunity to thank Dr Bernados, Oxfam and Save The Children for all the good work they do day in day out I haven’t had to purchase any bin liners for at least three years…
Continue ReadingToday my son taught me some of the maths he is being taught at school… I think it’s safe to say that I have learnt from my mistakes.
Continue ReadingKvetch – to complain habitually. I’d have that written on my headstone, but they’d probably misspell it.
Continue ReadingI had the worst hangover of my life at work the other day. I’ve never felt so rough; I spent most of the first hour repeatedly vomiting into a sink. I’m not allowed to do any more Baptisms for a while.
Continue ReadingThese Boy-bands seem to love their fathers. Boyzone covered “Father and Son” as a tribute to their Dads… Westlife performed alongside their Dads on ITV… And now The Wanted have released a song thanking their Dads for everything… “Glad you Came”.
Continue ReadingI just noticed that my boxers have a label on them that says “part of a set” … I am a little upset that I didn’t get the matching bra …
Continue ReadingBusy? In a meeting? Put your phone on silent, so instead of being interrupted by texts, you can be interrupted by constantly checking for texts.
Continue ReadingSummer vacations: where you drink triple, see double and act single.
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