I was called in to see my …
I was called in to see my son’s Headmaster today. I said, “What’s he been up to?” “He tried to burn down the main building.” He replied. I said, “You’re lucky, he succeeded at his two previous schools.”
Continue ReadingI was called in to see my son’s Headmaster today. I said, “What’s he been up to?” “He tried to burn down the main building.” He replied. I said, “You’re lucky, he succeeded at his two previous schools.”
Continue ReadingMy neighbours’ kids were building a snowman, and asked me for a carrot and two lumps of coal. The way kids are these days, I suppose it was a bit naive of me to expect that they’d use them for its face.
Continue ReadingIt’s all fun and games until the fat kid joins the pile on..
Continue ReadingWhats pink and divisible by 4? **************************** Baby tied to four horses
Continue ReadingI like to drive around in my car blaring songs from an ice cream van just to see those happy little faces fade when they realise there is no ice cream
Continue ReadingAt what age do you switch from puppy to dry dog food? My daughter is 18 months old.
Continue ReadingWell I can safely say that 3 of my money is going to the poverty stricken kids in Africa tonight… I bought a top in Primark.
Continue ReadingMy dad didn’t care about me as a child. Then he turned 18 and became slightly more responsible.
Continue ReadingI love the way children look when they’re asleep. Vulnerable.
Continue ReadingJust been announced on the radio that girls as young as 13 are being encouraged to buy the contraceptive pill over the counter! That should cut down my future CSA payments.
Continue ReadingI love going to the local water park. I can happily watch young girls getting wet without forcing them into my van.
Continue ReadingI don’t like children. What people don’t seem to realise is that babies are here to replace us. Once you understand that you can see just how sinister they are.
Continue ReadingMe and my wife saw a young boy in rags sitting outside Tesco. My wife asked, “Awww are you an orphan?” He replied, “Yes, what gave me away?” I said, “Your parents.”
Continue ReadingSo David Cameron leaves his 8 year old daughter in a pub in Cadsden, Bucks. If that had happened in Newcastle, the 8 year old would be thinking, “Cooool, a lock in!”
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