When I awoke in the middl …
When I awoke in the middle of the night to the scratching on my wardrobe door, it brought back my old fear of monsters lurking in the dark. Then I realised it was just the kids coming round.
Continue ReadingWhen I awoke in the middle of the night to the scratching on my wardrobe door, it brought back my old fear of monsters lurking in the dark. Then I realised it was just the kids coming round.
Continue ReadingHere at the sweatshop everyday is bring your children to work day!
Continue ReadingIf I had a penny for every time I did a days work.. …I’d be an Indian child.
Continue ReadingMy kids are riveted to the TV at the moment. And if that doesn’t work, I’ve got a welding kit waiting in the garage.
Continue ReadingApparently, “Hi, I’m Randy and I’m an alcoholic” doesn’t go down that well when you’re introducing yourself to other parents… …when they drop off their kid for a sleepover.
Continue Readingmy pregnant wife asked me how i’d feel about a little girl, turning my hand upside down and twiddling my fingers saying “like that” wasnt the answer she was looking for
Continue ReadingI am going to name my next child Number 7. Then when he’s wondering about his missing siblings, I’ll explain to him how they didn’t go to bed when I told them to.
Continue ReadingWhat’s the difference between a baby and methylamphetamine? One can cause adrenal fatigue. The other is a stimulant drug.
Continue ReadingMy daughter was really upset when she found out her new gold earrings were only gold plated. Not as upset as I was, they’re leaving a green rash on my thighs.
Continue ReadingI remember when I was 5 I had a special condition that meant I had to eat soil 3 times a day. I was so thankful my older brother told me in time.
Continue ReadingWhen i was in school all the boys used to say rude words that i didn’t understand, so i’d go to the library and do some colouring in. It wasn’t long before i gave up my job as a teacher.
Continue ReadingI am the happiest father in the world! Even after my pregnant wife was attacked by a gang of muggers, the doctors said that our little girl was still born.
Continue ReadingMy daughter brought a boy home the other day, and I wasn’t impressed I didn’t hesitate to tell everyone present what I thought of him. She started crying, but that was probably just a side effect of the stressful birth.
Continue ReadingI am going to call my kids Ctrl, Alt and Delete. Then if they muck up I will just hit them all at once.
Continue ReadingAh children, you can’t beat them … anymore
Continue Reading