Woman phones an ambulance …
Woman phones an ambulance woman “you gotta help me, my waters just broke!” emergency services “calm down. tell me, where are you ringing from?” woman “the waist down!”
Continue ReadingWoman phones an ambulance woman “you gotta help me, my waters just broke!” emergency services “calm down. tell me, where are you ringing from?” woman “the waist down!”
Continue ReadingIs it just me, or does the story of The Pied Piper seem a lot more sinister now than when you read it as a kid?
Continue ReadingJust become a father for the first time, if my baby is crying does it mean I am doing something wrong or am I just rubbish in bed?
Continue ReadingCrock’s The best way of showing your kids you hate them
Continue ReadingAnyone else think it’s weird that Roman Catholic Priests are known as “Fathers” when none of them have kids? Well at least not in the traditional sense…
Continue ReadingBought that new Lynx Bullet today. Turns out that it doesn’t have the same effect on kids 🙁
Continue ReadingWhats the difference between a scouser father and his son About 12 years
Continue Readingmy wife asked me watch our 6 month old baby in the bath…. i did. …. he drowned
Continue ReadingMy wife kept telling me I should show my son a bit more affection. So now I pat it on the head when I get home from work.
Continue ReadingI couldn’t get to sleep last night. There were loud noises outside, and I kept tossing and turning, but I just couldn’t get comfortable, I was hot, then freezing, then itchy, it was unbearable. Then I thought of the children in Haiti who have been forced to sleep on what’s left of their streets.. And […]
Continue ReadingFollowing the results of the pregnancy test I bought my wife the biggest, cutest “Congratulations you’re having a period” card money could buy.
Continue ReadingI’ve just got back from a boy scouts’ and girl guides’ jamboree. The excitement was intense.
Continue ReadingContinues to be amazed at how quickly the human population is growing. As I see the count rise above 7 billion people, I can’t help but feel the challenge to find Wally is becoming all the more difficult.
Continue Reading‘Scouting For Girls’, surely they mean Girl Guides
Continue ReadingI was telling my mate I grounded our baby for screaming so much and he said, “How can you ground a baby?” “With a mortar and pestle.” I replied.
Continue Reading