I’m the kind of guy who l …
I’m the kind of guy who laughs in the face of adversity. Mostly other people’s.
Continue ReadingI’m the kind of guy who laughs in the face of adversity. Mostly other people’s.
Continue ReadingI decided it was time to tell my 8 year old son he’s adopted. The wife didn’t approve, but I can’t resist a good prank.
Continue ReadingAfter watching the news coverage from the murder scene of Ashleigh Hall, it`s no wonder the guy who killed her got caught so quickly! I mean, why hide the body in a tent?
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend accused me of being childish and argumentative. I said, ‘No I’m not, you are.’ Shut her up.
Continue ReadingMy friend recently sent me a ‘chain letter’ so I decided to show you all our email conversation – “if u dnt snd this chain 2 10 people in the next hour u will see a dead gurl in ur bedroom tonight’ “Oh great! She’ll fit in nicely with the other two there!”
Continue ReadingMy 10 year old son came up to me today and asked ” daddy i hate it when I go to the toilet and my willie dangles in the water at the botom” man I need a DNA test .
Continue ReadingI don’t think it’s fair for my wife to call me immature. Fair enough, I did purposely buy the same telly as my neighbours so I could stand outside their house and change their channels with my remote, but who doesn’t?
Continue ReadingWhy didn’t the chicken cross the road? Because it was chicken
Continue ReadingMy wife keeps telling me to grow up. Well this shall stop from tomorrow morning, when my power ranger stilts arrive in the post.
Continue ReadingWorld Book Day next week and you’re supposed to dress up as someone from a book. I’m dressing up as myself, from Facebook.
Continue ReadingI just saw a bird versus squirrel fight. A car won.
Continue ReadingI like to stand near ATMs. When somebody types in their pin number I shout, “Got it!” and then I run away.
Continue ReadingJust had a row with my son over Peter Pan. It’s about time he grew up.
Continue ReadingMy mate told me I was really slow yesterday when we were in the pub. I quickly came back with “Your mum’s really slow.” Unfortunately he couldn’t hear it as he had left hours ago.
Continue ReadingThis bird was flirting with me in the pub. “I wear a DD bra,” she whispered. “That’s OK,” I said. “I wear Tum-Tiddly-Um underpants”.
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