I’ve just seen a midget d …
I’ve just seen a midget driving a crane I hope the R.S.P.B don’t find out, he might get charged with avian cruelty!
Continue ReadingI’ve just seen a midget driving a crane I hope the R.S.P.B don’t find out, he might get charged with avian cruelty!
Continue ReadingA guy tried to sell me 5 legs of venison for 100. I told him it was too much doe.
Continue ReadingWhen I was a kid a saw a herd of over 100 elephants. Aah! So many memories
Continue ReadingTwo police dogs die from overheating after being left in a car – Sentenced to be decided. They may want to look at a similar case of a black dog being locked in the boot of a car and surviving around Christmas time, that got that guy 8 yrs.
Continue ReadingI’m going to microwave a spider and let it bite me… superpowers here I come!
Continue ReadingWhy do foxes have fur coats? Because they’d look stupid in anoraks.
Continue ReadingMy six year old son has been begging me for months to buy him Angry Birds. He’ll be in for a treat when he comes home to find the ostriches I’ve caged up in his room.
Continue ReadingI can shoot deer with either arm. I’m bambidextrous.
Continue ReadingWhat do you call a dog who starts bringing dead birds home? A copycat.
Continue ReadingI am bored of hitting my dog repeatedly. So I’ve made a voodoo doll with his likeness and given it to him as a chew toy.
Continue ReadingI’m bringing out a new range of petfoods with flavours they’ll really love. For cats there will be: Mouse, Canary, Frog and Goldfish and for dogs; Rabbit, Cat, Sheep with an extra special flavour for pit bulls and rotweillers “Grandchild’s Face”
Continue ReadingI hate lazy rattlesnakes because you never know where they are…
Continue Reading‘a gorilla in the zoo learns how to walk like a man’. So now this is NEWS? I mean, big deal, after couple pints most men walk like gorillas without any training or learning.
Continue ReadingI went down to the new local shop which lets you trade in your beautiful winged insects in exchange for caucasian males. Its called pretty Fly for a white guy
Continue ReadingLate one night a drunk man sneaked into a zoo and fell into an enclosure full of gorillas during mating season. He was gang-aped.
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