First day working as a pi …
First day working as a pilot today. Got off to a flier.
Continue ReadingFirst day working as a pilot today. Got off to a flier.
Continue ReadingSome people have a way with words, others not have way.
Continue ReadingDon’t fancy the new gastro pub that’s just opened near us. Think the name, “Entiritis” is putting me off.
Continue ReadingI chew through packets of bubblegum.
Continue ReadingI’m a year 4 science teacher and this morning I asked my pupils how to distinguish the difference between a diode and an anode, and the process in which they were used. Then I realised it was pointless asking them; eyes can’t talk.
Continue ReadingThere’s a valuable lesson to be learnt from Sickipedia: There’s an upside to everything in life.
Continue ReadingI’ve always wondered why Vietnam needs so many vets and why they all live in the US?
Continue ReadingI have a spring in my step. It’s like a launch pad for Jehovah’s Witnesses.
Continue ReadingI was genuinely considering adopting an African kid the other day, before I remembered… I hate goats
Continue ReadingSince winning the lottery,the amount of people I have caught swimming across my moat at my castle to try and come and ask me for money has been unbelievable. I cant believe the lengths some people will go to.
Continue ReadingWhat is the most powerful anti-depressant available? Divorce.
Continue ReadingI remember my first date with my wife, we went to the airport. Then things just sort of took off from there.
Continue ReadingI was in Tesco earlier and the cashier said she felt like a zombie. Better safe than sorry I thought, so I stabbed her in the eye with a pen.
Continue ReadingMy friend said to me ‘I caught a rabbit with a snare yesterday’ I though ‘Maybe he’s part of a band’
Continue ReadingPenn and Teller are like a married couple. Only one of them gets to talk.
Continue Reading