My vegetarian mate broke …
My vegetarian mate broke up with his girlfriend the other day. I told him “Don’t worry, there’s plenty more vegetables in the coma ward.”
Continue ReadingMy vegetarian mate broke up with his girlfriend the other day. I told him “Don’t worry, there’s plenty more vegetables in the coma ward.”
Continue ReadingOne benefit of living in Afghanistan is the 2 hours saved per year scrolling to your country on order forms.
Continue ReadingI’m trying to battle my addiction to roundabouts. Unfortunately, I’m not getting very far.
Continue ReadingI didn’t fix the safety guard on the bandsaw and one of my employees had a rather nasty accident. It cost us both an arm and a leg.
Continue ReadingI see Culture Secretary Jeremy Hunt has offended the Hillsborough victims by suggesting hooliganism played a part. After so much effort in striving for justice, I bet they’re all crushed.
Continue ReadingLady Gaga says ‘Russian Roulette is not the same without a gun’… it’s called sitting
Continue ReadingSo Sickipedia is ironing out a few last minute problems? It had better be a woman doing it…
Continue ReadingMy wife used to just nod and smile at my Bukkake jokes, mainly because she didn’t know what it meant … But then one day, it hit her.
Continue ReadingMe and my wife watched three films back to back last night. Luckily I was the one facing the telly.
Continue ReadingSky News: Girl of 5 crushed my automatic gate Tributes in the form of flowers, cards and teddies have been left on the gate which crushed her. Do they really think making the gate look more attractive to young children will stop this happening again?!
Continue ReadingI’ve started a new business installing fans in toilets. It’s called “Air to the throne”
Continue ReadingI was on the beach early this morning, looking for hidden treasure. As I swept my new gadget across the sand, it started beeping, so I got my shovel and started digging, hoping to find gold. It was a very disappointing haul. I uncovered a carrot wrapped in bacon, a cat with a machete through […]
Continue ReadingEvery Olympic event should include one average person competing, for reference.
Continue Reading“So you are saying that the there’s actually a word for something that means exact in terms and without vagueness?” my friend asked, flabbergasted. “Precisely.” I replied.
Continue ReadingI’ve always aspired to be a social worker. It’s a step up from my current position as ‘sewer rat’.
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