Just put the cat out. Tol …
Just put the cat out. Told him I always wanted a dog.
Continue ReadingJust put the cat out. Told him I always wanted a dog.
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend finished me because I wasn’t a morning person. I said, ‘Well, at the end of the day…’
Continue ReadingWent to go and see that new film about an adventurous biscuit. The Bourbon Supremacy.
Continue ReadingA man is walking along a beach when he accidentally kicks a bottle and a genie pops out. The genie thanks the man for freeing him and says, “I will grant you three wishes. But I am a cursed genie, so your mother-in-law will get double what you wish for.” The guy agrees and says,” […]
Continue ReadingMy mate gets women by putting his hand in Archers and letting them lick it. They come running when he Schnapps his fingers.
Continue ReadingI was in a lecture the other day falling asleep, when some guy shouted “Wake up!” I immediately awoke and carried on delivering my presentation.
Continue ReadingThe internet has become too politically correct. What’s all this nonsense about disabled cookies? In my day they were called broken biscuits.
Continue ReadingA dispute broke out between me and the gang over the disposal of the murder wepon. but we buried the hatchet.
Continue ReadingWhat were King Harold’s last words? “I spy with my little eye something beginning with A”
Continue ReadingI was cleaning my son’s room and found thousands of sheets of origami paper under his bed. I don’t know what to make of it.
Continue ReadingI just clocked this guy acting suspiciously outside my house. It was an unusual choice of weapon.
Continue ReadingI always win at Twister. Hands down.
Continue ReadingHaving just released the iPad in the UK, Apple have announced the future release of the iPad nano: an iPad that will fit in your pocket and complete with a phone function.
Continue ReadingDoctor, Doctor. I think I’m a chameleon! Who said that?!
Continue ReadingPrimark – keeping immigrants in work since 1969.
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